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Kami's Lame Celblog
dull Relationship stuff last modified: Saturday, February 11, 2006 (10:03:12 AM) About 7 1/2 years ago, I frequented a chat room in a program called V-chat. It was there that I met a guy using the name Spastic Elf. For those not familiar with this long dead Microsoft program, you could make multi-picture avatars that floated around in a virtual world. His was an adorable elf head of his own creation and mine at the time was Sasami though I had many more.
Anyways, long story short, we started talking on ICQ and continued several years after that. I became very attracted to him although all our relationship had been was IM.. For the longest time I didnt even know his real name or what he looked like but his personality seemed to shine above anyone elses. His name I discovered on my own through investigative work using little clues he didnt realize were there. Then, he eventually sent me a few low quality pictures; the only ones I would ever receive. Over time he began to discourage my feelings towards him more and more until a long period of time lapsed when I didnt see him online anymore. I was heartbroken. I even tried dating... three guys and none of them worked out. I was too much in love with that elf. Even if I couldnt talk to him anymore or could have a normal relationship with him, I still desperately wanted to. We resumed talking before I went to Germany however and it was while I was in Germany that he called me for the first time. Our relationship grew from IM to phone calls, but he still would get highly discouraging of the concept of us. I just couldnt say no, so one day I decided to go to him using an excuse that was at the time pretty legitimate. He became angry that I did this, but I went regardless of whether he'd be there or not and he was... We had a great time together.. I was even more in love with him after that, but as I left, He wouldnt kiss me and said "just friends" He had a talk with me after I returned about how he couldnt see us being together and became very upset. I came again after that with a friend.. Again, great time.. but the same response. The third time, I met with the same pre-trip anger and felt bad but went anyways because Im so stubborn. This was the first time we kissed.. and it was the most amazing kiss I'd ever had. The cycle continued once more.. Can I visit? You shouldnt.. Im coming to visit.. anger.. sadness.. I go anyways.. great time... more kissing.. The last two times, a year later from the first time, I didnt ask and he didnt act angry. I said I needed a vacation the first time and he just naturally came to me and yes, we had fun, but he didnt kiss me this time. The last time was when I came for the job interview and I got the job. Much to my suprise, he seemed happy.. And ever since Ive been here he's been there for me and yes, we've kissed quite a bit =) I dont know where this is going to go but I have a great feeling right now. Sounds crazy doesnt it?
It''s always hard to comment on a situation involving people I don''t know, but, here goes it anyways - This might be a relationship that you might want to step back and look at the logistics of it a tad more carefully. Attraction is not something you can get by begging the heck out of someone, and if that kind of relationship does generate attraction in the other party, you have to wonder at the kind of relationship the other person is looking for. It sounds to me that this may only get as far as a sexual relationship. If that''s what both of you mutually want, go for it. But, one party generally gets attached to the other in these types of relationships, and that can make any friendship go sour. Here''s another thing to note - Why did the previous dating experiences(3 men is hardly "experience") fail? Was it really because of them or was it because you were already in love with the personality exhibited by this elf? Any possible relationship is bound to fail if you''re already highly interested in another person. All in all, talk about this with some of your friends who also know this person and ask what their feelings on the relationship are. I strongly encourage you to look at the relationship closely and turn off the hormones for a while.
*eyes get watery* OMG, that is such an adorable story!! It kinda reminds me of a mixture of Sleepless in Seattle and You''ve got Mail. Lol, it sounds like your story could be a movie! I wish you the best of luck with him. Don''t worry, you''ll wear him down, lol ^^
Hey, sounds crazy, but crazier things have happened. <.< I met my husband online about seventeen years ago. Before "internet", it was "relay". He was in college in Indiana, and I was in college in Kansas. *shrug* I think we spent a total of seven days in each other''s actual physical presence (over about three years) before we got married. And it''s been over thirteen years now. Personality is the most important, and online (IF they are true to their personality online) is the best place to see that in some ways. Anyway. Stranger things have happened. ~_^
Ok Well not to be mean I cant agree with Cutiebunny and I do agree with Leah. Stranger things have happened. Sometimes it takes longer for the man to realize what is happening and what he has. Almost the same thing happened to me and my husband, but we were in highschool together. It might take a while for the other persons feelings to develope. I was in love with Ben, but he was saying just friends for years LOL then We went to dinner one day "as friends" and left boyfriend and girlfriend. Now we are married. :D All I can say hun, is yes do take your time and dont try to rush things. I wish you luck my friend! Love, Zunny
It really is a wonderful relationship we have. I mean, we have so much in common.. So much so that we will jinx each other with random sayings at random times. And I think its a little silly what Cutiebunny said about the sexual relationship. Its far from that. Kissing, to me, means more giggly blushy affectionate type kisses, often on the cheek too, and not super tongue fest. He''s a wonderful guy, the kind that holds the door open for you, and after 7 years, we''re still so very close and have shared so many memories together and been the encouraging party in our developing our artwork. He couldnt come see me today because he was busy and Im staying a long traffic mess away from him and he felt bad that he couldnt come over but he still called me and we talked for two hours. *sigh* He''s the person I want to eventually marry.
Thats great Hun Just remember, takes things slow and surely things will work out just fine. I am glad you have that warm fuzzy feeling! Thats how it was with my hubby and me . good luck and I''m happy for you :D Love,Zunny
probubly more chance of meeting your soulmate on things like that, it''s amazing how addictive chatting online is- you can say things in writing that you couldn''t say say in the outside world. |
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