Dreamer's Diary

(Not a cel post) My fish died today.
last modified: Monday, January 16, 2006 (10:46:29 AM)
Or last night sometime. He wasn't a particularly expensive fish, as he was just a betta, but he was nifty. I never thought fish were a particularly interactive sort of pet until him. He was this pretty salmon pink and his fins had hints of red, iridescent blue and purple. He was beautiful, and he knew it, so I named him Hotohori.

I first learned that fish (at least some of them) could be interactive pets because Hori-fishie would "dance" whenever I came into his field of view. Evidently, his field of view was more than 12 feet, because he'd start dancing to catch my attention whenever I entered my living room (and his bowl was in the dining room). He was smart too. He'd dance if he'd catch a glimpse of me through the cut-away into the kitchen. You might suggest he'd dance if he saw any movement. Uhm, no. He'd never dance for the cat, or other people. Just for me.

Once in a while, when I was feeding him, he'd come up to the top and crest out over the water, as if in his little fishie mind, he were a great shark. It scared the heck out of him (and me) when he bumped into my finger doing that one time.

The first time he bearded, it frightened me. It was a show of a primal sort of aggression that was simply awesome in its ferocity. I had read that betta would beard, that is puff up their fins and pull forward some other, I guess they are fins too, that normally lie flat against their heads in a "back off and no one gets hurt" threat display. These fish are rather insanely aggressive, as they will beard at each other (so you can never have two betta in the same tank or one will be killed). So, my pretty, placid fish got himself scared by something and bearded. The something? A little figure I have of Dark Magician. Until this last month or so, he'd beard whenever I put the Dark Magician near enough for him to see. So, now we know! Hotohori and Dark Magician are mortal enemies!

Periodically, he'd get all horny, and make bubble rafts in his bowl. He'd get all sulky, make tons of bubbles and be even more pissy than usual. Turns out the male betta is responsible for the young-uns, since they fertilize the eggs then lift them into the bubble rafts and guard them until the little ones are born. Silly, little horny fish! There were never any unfertilized eggs in your tank!

A few months ago I noticed a white patchiness on his top fin. It never did appear like Ick to me, but that's what everyone assumed it was. I got a betta specific medicine to add to his water, and upped changing his water out according the schedule recommended on the medicine. Nothing seemed to help, as his top fin eventually "melted" away. Until two days ago he was energetic enough, and still eating, but I could tell it was pretty close to the end, since his color had faded to merely a pale echo of its previous splendor. Truth be told, he hung on about two months after I thought he'd die. Stubborn, brave, little fish!

So, it wasn't a surprise to find him on his side and still in the bottom of his tank this morning. Still, I'm sad and feel kinda guilty that he died, since I was his owner and responsible for him. This summer, he would have been four years old.

Does it seem silly that I'm going to miss him? Just a fish, not a creature I could cuddle as I do my cat, but, in his own way he developed a language with me, and, well, was a true pet, not just a decorative thing as I had always assumed fish were.

Good-bye, Hori-fishie. I'm gonna miss you!
I''m sorry! Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:38:11 AM

That''s too bad about your fishy friend. It''s hard when a pet dies. Last spring I lost my nubian goat of 14 years to a tumor. Before that, I also had a beta fish, Beauty, that died. I know how you feel. Take care and find yourself another watery companion soon!
-Jessica (JMK)

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:49:39 AM

Tis never silly to miss a pet! Even if he was just a fish, he was still a pet. I remember when I was younger I used to get all sad and cried when I found my guppies dead. Even though you can''t play with them they are still beautiful to watch and some do amusing stunts. One time we had a hermit crab that actually took one of the fake grass plants, carried it to the top of those multi-colored underwater cave decoractions, stuck the plant in the hole at the top of the cave, and sit there and wave its claws around waiting for the fishies to come by. His brilliant plan worked, but unfortunately he died not too long ago. Know that you took good care of your fish, and I''m sure he remembers and appreciates it. Take care of yourself.

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:51:09 AM

*correction - sorry not the hermit crab, I meant the fiddler crab

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 1:48:02 PM

I had a hermit crab named Homer. He died on my 23rd birthday. I was utterly devastated by his death and still lament about it from time to time. But I know he was loved and happy during his life, and that comforts me. It''s never silly to miss a pet. Pets are important things in our lives, no matter what kind of animal it is. You seem to be remembering the good times, which helps. Know that he will live forever in your memories. <3 *hugs* Take care!

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 2:50:36 PM

*Hugs*I understand how you feel I''m dreading when our Bettas (Vincent and Sephiroth) They are the very first pets we got together and have had them since we purchased our house together (the past 3 years) I will be absolutely crushed when they die. And yes most people do think fish aren''t much of pets but, I know they are as well ours in fact are very fickle and have to have two different sortd of food and do the same dancing you talked about whenever we come near them.

Just take heart in that I''m sure he loved you as much as you did him.


Hori-fishieMonday, January 16, 2006 - 3:14:15 PM

I had betas all through my days in college. And four years is unheard of for me! I think the longest any of mine lasted was two years, so he was a ripe old man when he left.

Betas are incredible fun! I always got the blue ones with the purple fins. One time I had three in three different tanks stacked on top of each other so they wouldn''t constantly beard at each other.
Each one had his own personality, and I got attached to each one. ;_;

But hey, your walpaper here is beautiful and perfect!!! ~_^ (just had to say that.)

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:54:18 PM


Of course it''s not silly! It is natural that you will grieve for him and feel sad and miss him. He was part of your life, and you loved him. I felt the same way when my first angel fish died, after I had had him for 6 years. He went to law school with me, and even traveled back and forth over holidays that I spent at my parents'' house. I had a special tank for him and everything. I never thought I could be so attached to a fish, but I still feel sad when I think about him, several years after his passing. So ... see there ... if you''re silly, then I''m right there with ''ya! I hope your day picks up a bit, and I''m so sorry for your loss. *more hugz* ... *pulls Aya out of the bish closet and sends him over with a special hug, too* ... *pokes Aya --- go on, silly bishie. give Kitt a hug! >.<* ... Flower boys. *sigh* What do you expect? ^.~

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 9:36:03 PM

its not silly to miss him--he liked you very much!!! ^^

im sorry that your fishy friend is now in fishy heaven. bettas are gorgeous creatures--seen them at my college''s library. i still miss my cat Topper and my ferret "Joxer the Mighty" [in additon to my cat we have 3 other dogs, another cat that wont die (shes 20yrs old!!), and HAD 4 ferrets--Joxer was my fav ferret]. both of them got really ill a few years ago and there was nothing we, my mom,sis, and i, could do. Topper had kitty cancer and we still arent sure what Joxer had. Joxer was the youngest of the entire group of ferrets and the whole menagerie we had. Joxer loved to play with me and jump up and down alll the time like a kangeroo. we gave him that name because he acted just like Joxer on Xena: Warrior Princess tv series.

it''s ok to miss Hori-fishie because i know he misses you too.^^
i hope you find another watery companion too!! be strong! ~^

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 9:50:16 PM

Your post made me cry. ;_;

I''m so sorry!! = (!!!

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:20:53 PM

Aww! Thank you, everyone, for posting messages of support. It''s nice to know I''m not all alone for caring for a pet so much, but I''m a bit sad that so many of you have felt the same sort of loss.

*hugs everyone*

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:20:50 PM

Awww, poor Hori-fishy! I know he had a good life with a caring owner. I can''t help but feel sorry for the bettas in those waterglasses in the pet stores. I tend to think they end up in the hands of people who barely remember to feed them let alone change their water or interact with them. Hotohori was a lucky fish!

Fish are smart in their own way. A salmon can taste the water from its home stream, even while in the ocean, and find their way back to the place they hatched. Heck, while on vaction in Hawaii we started feeding the little fish and eels that hung out in the tidepools. We came at the same time every day and they soon learned to wait for us. If we stopped by there at a different time they weren''t around. Fish are smart, adaptive, and can relate to people in their own way if the person makes an effort. And they are beautiful to look at. Something that brings joy is not a small thing!

re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 1:28:43 AM

It''s not silly at all that you''d miss him. I''ve never really had any pets that you could cuddle--my first pet ever was a beta. I named him Bubbles--very original, huh? Growing up with me in the Arizona heat, he got fin rot every single summer. It scared the heck out of my ten-year-old mind the first time I saw his fins in shards . . . so I can completely relate.


re: (Not a cel post) My fish died today. Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 2:25:55 AM

I''ve had pets all my life and therefore not unfamiliar with their deaths and how much it hurts. I''m sorry this happened to you. I''ve had tropical fish too and know about the scary diseases they can get and how hard it is to cure and/or treat them. So please don''t feel bad, it sounds you were a real responsible owner who loved him and took good care of him. I know, it''s amazing how much you can get attached to a fish. But like Tex said, there''s much in this world that can upset you, but to find something that brings you joy is rare.