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Confessions of a Crappy Candy Giver
last modified: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 (10:14:46 PM)
Now that I'm an adult(well, that's what the ID says, but the jury is still out with a decision), the meaning of Halloween has drastically changed. While I once would don a suit and run around all my neighbor's homes for a piece of 'fun size' candy, now I find myself in the position of handing candy out.

Perhaps it's born out of resentment of only filling up 1 McDonald's "Happy Meal" Halloween Bucket(how many of you remember this?) a year while the rest of my classmates would bring in pillowcases of the chocolate confections, or maybe because my parents decided that, upon turning 12, I had grown out of Halloween...I don't know. But, I've become very protective of my candy and I only give out the "crummy" kind.

Now, I'm not cheap when it comes to this holiday because I know that, if I have any left overs, I'd want to eat good candy and not some dinky lollipop. I buy "Almond Joy", "Three Musketeers" and "Kit-Kat". I pour them in a bowl. I tell myself that I'm going to be a good hostess and equally distribute the candy.


What always invariably happens is that I give out what I like least first. If I purchased "Snickers" or "Babe Ruth", those would be the first to go. I don't care if you have peanut allergies - Thou shall not touch my precious Almond Joy! I'll give them a handful of these, especially if I know that I'm going to have very few patrons that night. Then, the second line "not so favorites, but they're still Ok". I'll hand these out in quantities of two to three. I tell myself that I'm helping the parents out. After all, they're small children and who wants a hyper sugar-fed child running around at 11pm?

...But then, if I run through those...desperation strikes. I look at my favorites. I get queasy. And it feels like I'm comitting an act of treason by handing them out. Those insipid cutiepies in their costumes come and I hand them, one, only one, of my preciouses. I sniff and sob after they leave, marking the departure of another of my most favorite treats. When the bucket reaches to 5 of my sinful snacks, I happily shut off the light and proceed to tear into my candy. I deserve something for my sacrifice.

Yes, I know I'm going to have to explain this one before I enter the "pearly gates". I've already accepted this. I'm going to pull the "But I'm generous to everyone on other holidays" pout-route.

I doubt if St. Peter has heard that one before.

re: Confessions of a Crappy Candy GiverWednesday, November 01, 2006 - 9:29:47 AM

hey at least you dont go trick or treating as a grown up or hand out good n plenty aka the worst cabndy on earth

re: Confessions of a Crappy Candy GiverWednesday, November 01, 2006 - 10:35:26 AM


Thou shalt not talk vile of my Snicker bars! :D
We bought Halloween candy--but it was for me--since everyone in the house is on a diet. XD I took one look at the trick or treaters while I pulled my car out from the garage to go to class and said, "It''s too late! I ate them--snickers and all!" *runs to get candy at half price now* :D

Heh.Wednesday, November 01, 2006 - 3:33:23 PM

When I lived in the city, I had two sets of candy: the nice candy for kids that dressed up and boxes of raisins for the kids that didn''t and for the idiot parents that bring their infants around.

Now that I live in the country, no one comes to my house. This year I had THREE kids come and they live two houses down from me - their mom drove them over. ^_^ They were cute, so I gave them full-sized chocolate bars. :)